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Here is a collection of some better jokes that we have
heard recently. Got a good one? Send it to us on our Joke Mail page.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith entered the dentist's office. Mrs. Smith said, "I want
a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible
hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.
You're a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is.
Mrs. Smith turned to her husband. Open your mouth and show the dentist
which tooth it is, dear.
A man and his wife started out in the car after a quarrel. She sat in
the back seat and continued to berate him for his faults. In her
excitement she pounded on the car door and it flew open. Serveral blocks
later one of their neighbors flagged the man down. "Your wife fell out of
the car back there, he said. The man looked over at the back seat.
"Thank goodness!" he said. "I thought I had lost my hearing.
An eighteen-year-old soldier was given guard duty one night.
He did his best for a while, but in the early morning he went
to sleep. He awakened to find his superior standing over him
Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty,
this smart thinking young man kept his head bowed for another
moment, then looked piously upward, and reverently intond,
"A-a-a-amen!"
Two men were riding on a motorcycle. The one on the back kept on
complaining about being cold. The driver stopped and told him to
put his leather jacket on backwards to break the wind. He changed
his coat and they started out again. The motorcycle hit a rough
spot in the road and the man on the back fell off. When the
driver noticed his friend had disappeared, he went back to find
him. A big crowd had gathered around the man at the side of the
road. The driver pushed his way through the crowd. "is he hurt?"
he asked. "I don't know," a man scratched his head, "he didn't
seem to be in much trouble, but we turned his head around the way
it belonged and he hasn't spoken a word since!
Who are this "General Failure" and why is he reading my hard disk!
Four Dallas Cowboys in a car--who's driving? The sheriff!!!!
An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard.
He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old
fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions,"
he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it
on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head,
hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
A young businessman was running to catch the morning train from far
out suburbia to the city. Trotting up to a farmer, he asked, "Say, do
you mind if I take a shortcut across your field? I want to catch the
6:45." "Sure, go ahead, young feller," replied the farmer,"but if my
bull sees you, you'll catch the 6:15."
A kid is flunking a public school, so his parents move him into a private school. All the
sudden in the private school his grades skyrocket up to A's. Then one night at the dinner
table his parents ask,"Why were you doing so bad in a public school, and when we
switched you to a private school you did good?" The kid responds,"because I knew
they were serious about school. The first day I walked in they had a guy nailed to a plus
sign."
If a lawyer and a full can of beer both fell off the top of the Empire State Building at
the same time, which one would hit the ground first?
Who cares?
A blonde bombshell walks into the airplanes and sits in 1st Class and the stewardess asks
her for her ticket...The stewardess tells her that she only has a coach ticket. The blonde
says, "Im a cute lookng blonde and i'm flying first class." The stewardess
replys that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta....the blonds then retorts, "I'm a
cute blonde and i'm flying first class". Just then the captian happened by and asked
what was happening....the blonde tells him, "I'm a cute blonde and I'm flying first
class....The captian whipers in her ear...and the blonde gets up and jumps into a seat in
the coach cabin...The stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move so
fast.. He replied, "I told her that 1st class is not going to atlanta."
"I've worked here for eight years," an overworked employee said to her
boss, "and I've been doing the work of three people. I want a raise."
"I can't give you a raise," the boss answered. "But if you'll tell me
who the other two people are I'll fire them."
Got a good joke? Send it to us on our Joke Mail page.
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